Tuesday, March 31st, 2015
Tonight was the big night—some of Hollywood's funniest stars were going to go inon Justin Bieber. And that's exactly what they did (as well as go in on each other!).
Kevin Hart, Jeff Ross, Natasha Leggero, Pete Davidson, Martha Stewart,Shaquille O'Neal, Snoop Dogg, Ludacris and even Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) were apart of the pre-taped Comedy Central Roast that aired Monday night, and while they all made us laugh until we actually felt a six-pack forming, they also dished some disses that shocked us.
What's comedy without a few oh no they didn't moments? But seriously, they didn't hold back.
Unfortunately, we couldn't list all of the funny, harsh, OMG-did-they-really-say-that, LOL-worthy one-liners here, because that would've taken all night, but we did pluck a few gems out for you in case you want to experience the hilarity that occurred tonight.
1. "Do your hermaphrodite twerk,"—Kevin Hart
2. "It's an honor to be at a roast hosted by Shaq's dick,"—Pete Davidson
3. "Is it true you dumped [Selena Gomez] because she grew a mustache before you?"—Jeffrey Ross
4. "[Kevin Hart] is just like Bill Cosby. Women can't feel when he's inside of them,"—Snoop Dogg
5. "Justin's fan are called beliebers because it's politically incorrect to use the word retards,"—Natasha Legerro
6. "Shaq is cool though. Shaq has shattered 8 backboards and 79 cervixes,"—Pete Davidson
7. "Kevin, you are everywhere. He is going to be on the next season of Game of Thrones. He's going to play Peter Dinklage's shadow,"—Natasha Legerro
8. "Ebola patients hear about ‘Bieber fever' and say, ‘I'm gonna go ahead and ride this one out,'"—Kevin Hart
9. "Justin, Selena Gomez had to f--k you. She is literally the least lucky Selena in all of entertainment history,"—Natasha Legerro
10. "You have it all … Except love, friends, good parents, and a Grammy,"—Chris D'Elia
11. "No wonder he's got moves, he was In the womb trying to dodge a coat hanger,"—Natasha Legerro
12. "Justin, I'm sure it's great to have 60 million followers on Twitter, but the only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower,"—Martha Stewart
13. "If Anne Frank heard your music, she would Uber to Aushwitz,"—Jeffrey Ross
14. "Snoop, you look like Shaq's skeleton,"—Natasha Legerro
15. "This kid has spunk, moxie, and a few other STDs,"—Ron Burgundy
16. "The Brazilian prostitute that claimed she was with Justin told the news that he was well-endowed. And that prostitute would know because so was he,"—Ludacris
17. "What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours,"—Justin Bieber
While they're not engaged (yet), I can exclusively reveal that the two are going to be working on a movie together. And not just any movie—it sounds like it will be the one that will mark Valderrama's feature film directorial debut.
The former That '70s Show star told me earlier today that he's close to announcing the project.
"I won't be able to [shoot] it this year because this year's pretty much gone with my schedule but early next year, I'll probably be directing my first big film," Valderrama said while promoting his new indie murder thriller, The Girl Is in Trouble(available on VOD and in theaters on Friday, April 3). "I'm going to be in it as well. When I did Larry Crowne and I saw that Tom Hanks could direct, produce, write and star in a movie all at the same time, he kind of gave me hope that it was possible for me to do, too.
"It's all about scheduling, management of your time and having good partners who will tell you when your take sucks," he added.
Beyoncé, Drake and Kendrick Lamar are just a few artists who decided to go for the surprise album drop, which not only created a trend in the music industry, but also now causes fans to read into absolutely everything their favorite artist posts (They just posted a picture with no caption. OMG, they're dropping an album...)
Remember what happened with Rihanna last week? At least we got a song. But did Kanye West choose to add to the list of musicians mentioned above and release his highly anticipated album So Help Me God exclusively on Tidal today?!
A photo seeming to be the track list of Yeezy's upcoming album made the rounds on Twitter this afternoon, causing fans to freak out about a surprise release on the new streaming app that literally just launched.
Although it would be in perfect Kanye form to add another wave of shock to music lovers by putting out his buzzed-about album without any prior hint of a releaseand making it only available through his new business venture—it's not true.
West's rep tells E! News the rapper didn't drop his album on Tidal. Fans will come to face this harsh truth after logging into streaming app and going to 'Ye's catalogue, only to find all of his previous albums but no So Help Me God. Sorry!
Now what about that track list? Could it be a completely doctored photo that includes actual tracks we're already privy to along with made-up song titles and collaborations? Of course. Especially when we see a song featuring Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson with a title like "Piss on Your Grave."
And turns out, that's exactly the case. His rep also confirms that the track list is not real. Double bummer.
It seems like Snooki's hard-partying days are long behind her—because the only partying she's doing lately is celebrating her daughter Giovanna's baptism!
The Jersey Shore alum Instagrammed a cute pic of her with pal Stephanie Greinerat the afterparty, and in the caption the reality TV star revealed that her gal-pal is Giovanna's godmother!
"Baptized Giovanna today! Steph's a godmother @stephanie_b22," she wrotealongside the photo. Snooki, whose real name is Nicole Polizzi, looked fabulous in a white dress with cutouts and a colorful floral pattern. Little Giovanna was of course dressed up for her special day, wearing a dress with blue ruffles for the affair.
Stephanie also Instagrammed an adorable photo of Snooki's little girl, captioningthe pic, "God daughter." We bet she's wearing her new godmother title proudly!
Amanda Knox may have one final fight left in her.
Just days after she and her former boyfriend Raffaele Sollecito were acquitted of murder charges, the 27-year-old is said to be heading back to Italy.
Knox's lawyers confirmed to reporters that she will be headed to a Lo Stivale court to seek compensation for the four years she spent in prison for the murder of her roommate Meredith Kercher in 2007.
"She will be seeking compensation for wrongful imprisonment," Carlo Dalla Vedova, her attorney, told the Telegraph.
Meanwhile, Sollecito's father, Francesco, told media outlets that deciding upon a settlement amount has been no easy feat for the two twentysomethings.
"You could hardly quantify a compensation figure, it has been such an awful business," he explained. "We were pilloried."
Shortly after Friday's verdict was read in an Italian court, Knox released the following statement from her hometown of Seattle:
"Regarding Today's Decision of the Supreme Court of Italy I am tremendously relieved and grateful for the decision of the Supreme Court of Italy. The knowledge of my innocence has given me strength in the darkest times of this ordeal. And throughout this ordeal, I have received invaluable support from family, friends, and strangers. To them, I say: Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your kindness has sustained me. I only wish that I could thank each and every one of you in person."
Raffaele also spoke out after the court's decision earlier today, saying, "It is time I will never be able to recoup. My mind and my soul will be marked for life, and the wound will never stop bleeding, it will never heal."
He continued, "The most beautiful moment without a doubt was the one that put an end to the nightmare, the call from my sister after the reading of the sentence and the total acquittal from the High Court."
Monday morning went like this for most people:
Sees Trevor Noah is announced as replacement for Jon Stewart on The Daily Show
Asks self: "Who?!"
Googles "Trevor Noah"
Sees photo of Trevor Noah
Licks lips and says "I could spread him on a cracker."
Jon Stewart is obviously sexy, but Trevor Noah is sexy. And there is an important different between the two, you know. Yes, Trevor is hilarious, smart and will do a wonderful job manning the Daily Show desk, but there are a lot of people on Twitter who are excited about this announcement simply because he is delicious and they want to gobble him up. (We're one of those people).
Has Mariah Carey moved on with another man?
With Nick Cannon dating model Jessica White on the D.L., his soon-to-be ex-wife spent her birthday weekend in the arms of another man: X-Men: The Last Standdirector Brett Ratner! In fact, Carey and Ratner were photographed walking arm-in-arm (with another female friend) while shopping in St. Barts.
Carey celebrated her birthday Friday, while Ratner celebrated his 46th birthday Saturday. The friends' joint birthday celebration, in addition to their openly affectionate behavior, has fueled romance rumors.
However, the filmmaker's rep denied that the two are dating Friday, calling the speculation "ridiculous." In a statement, Ratner's rep told People, "They have been best friends for a very long time."
Indeed they have. Ratner first worked with Carey in 1998 when he directed her "I Still Believe" music video. They also teamed up for 1999's "Heartbreaker," 2000's "Thank God I Found You," 2005's "It's Like That," "2005's "We Belong Together," 2008's "Touch My Body" and 2009's "Obsessed" and 2009's "H.A.T.E.U."
In recent weeks, the frequent collaborators have been spending more time together. On March 24, Ratner dined with Carey and Courtney Love and all three shared a picture on Instagram. Earlier in the month, Carey took an Instagram selfie with Ratner, captioning it, "Hanging out in the girls room with @brettrat."
Carey, who prefers to refer to her birthday as an "anniversary," has yet to share any pictures from the birthday trip. She did, however, star in her own photo collage onInstagram. "I [love] U and can't wait for this new year and all the excitement of 2015 Dahhhlings!!!" the five-time Grammy Award winner wrote.
If Carey is dating Ratner, he would be the first person she's romanced since Cannon. After six years of marriage, Carey called it quits with her husband in August 2014. Four months later, the America's Got Talent host filed for divorce; the exes are parents to 3-year-old twins, Moroccan and Monroe.
Last week, a source revealed to E! News that Cannon, 34, and White, 30, have been "taking things slow" and "really getting to know each other" in recent weeks. However, since Cannon's divorce has not been finalized, they have agreed not to talk about their budding relationship "out of respect for Nick's family."
Carey, meanwhile, is gearing up for her upcoming residency at Caesars Palace.
“If my extensive collection of all 53 Now That’s What I Call Music compilations is any indication, I am both qualified and honored to join Ludacris in hosting this amazing show that spotlights the best music and artists of the year,” said Teigen.
“I had so much fun hosting the Billboard Music Awards last year and I can’t wait to be back!” said Ludacris, whose Ludaversal album drops this week.
The 2015 Billboard Music Awards returns to ABC on Sunday, May 17 at 8pm ET. The 2015 BBMAs finalists will be announced on Tuesday, April 7, on Good Morning America. Ludacris and Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz will stop by GMA that morning to join in on the fun.
Well that was fast: less than a week after Zayn Malik officially left One Direction, the 22-year-old has had his first piece of solo material unveiled to the world. Naughty Boy, the U.K. producer who joined Malik in the studio over the weekend, has posted a demo called "I Won't Mind" online on Monday (Mar. 30).
- Lollapalooza has banned Selfie sticks
- Kevin Hart will receive the Comedic Genius Award at the MTV Movie Awards on April 12th
RADAR Online claims Zac Efron is going to star in “High School Musical 4.'' A source tells the site: “High School Musical 4 is much more than just an idea lthough there have been rumors for the past several years that it is definitely happening, it was not a possibility until Zac overcame what his friends are calling his ‘dark period.' Zac is beat his demons and finally has got himself together. Now that he has seemingly beaten the battle, Zac says he is ready to reprise his role in HSM4.”
Nick Jonas to Perform at Radio Disney Music Awards! Nick Jonas is ready to rock! E! News can exclusively reveal that the 22-year-old singer-songwriter will perform live at the Radio Disney Music Awards on Apr. 25. Jonas will take the stage inside Los Angeles' famous Nokia Theatre L.A. Live. "Radio Disney has supported Nick along the incredible journey of his musical career, "Phil Guerini, Vice President, Programming and General Manager, Radio Disney, tells E! News in an exclusive statement. "We are delighted to showcase his latest evolution as a solo artist on the Radio Disney Music Awards stage." The "Chains" singer joins previously announced performer Becky G. Jonas is nominated in two categories, including He's the One -- Best Male Artist, with Ed Sheeran and Pharrell Williams. The musician's hit "Jealous" is in the running for for XOXO -- Best Crush Song. Sabrina Carpenter's "Can't Blame a Girl for Trying" and One Direction's "Steal My Girl" are Jonas' competition. This is the first year that Jonas has been nominated as a solo artist. In 2006, the Jonas Brothers scored Best Group, Best Group Made of Brothers/Sisters and Best Video That Rocks ("Year 3000") nominations, but unfortunately, they didn't win.
It's Official Zayn Malik Has Been Cut From One Direction's Tour Videos. If it didn't feel real before, it might start to sink it now... Zayn Malik has been officially cut from One Direction's introductory video montage that plays during the band's concerts, according to The Independent. The boys performed for the first time Saturday night in Johannesburg, South Africa, without Malik, where fans got a glimpse of what life would be like without him in 1D. Heartthrob Harry Styles told the crowd, "