Tuesday, September 1, 2015

244th day of the year.

There are 121 days remaining until the end of the year

 

Today is National No Rhyme (Nor Reason) Day, National Gyros Day and National Cherry Popover Day

 LABOR DAY is Monday.

 

 

 

Tuesday's Birthday Cake:

Zendaya Coleman (19)

Dr Phil (65)

 

 

THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

 

 

- 9.8 million viewers watched the MTV VMA's on Sunday. That's down from 10.3 million last year across several networks

 

MTV VMA's generated 2,286,585 tweets on Sunday night. 15,291 negative Tweets were posted at 10:47 PM just after Kanye West announced he was running for President in 2020.

 

 PLUS:  MTV is open to having Kanye West host next year's MTV VMAs  (i hope he eats more edibles and babbles on for days)

 

 

 

EVER HEARD OF A “super solar storm” COULD TAKE DOWN ALL ELECTRONICS...

 

 

A new study says that adding a 25-minute walk to your day will add 7 years to your life.

 

 

A quick life update on Ne-Yo -- he's now married to Crystal Renay and she's pregnant!

 

 

 

Politically Incorrect: Eugene Craig III, a member of Baltimore County’s GOP leadership, has founded the "Ready for Kanye" political action committee. He tells CNBC: "He would bring an interesting dialogue to the political debate.

 

 

the average newlywed couple returns five wedding presents.

 

 

Apple's new streaming box will launch in October and be priced at under $200

 

 

- Kroger grocery stores are placing beer taps in their stores so customers can fill their growlers with craft beer

 

 

 

 Finders Keepers: A San Francisco bartender recently found $20 on the ground which he used to buy a winning lottery ticket worth $1 million.

Tang hadn't played the lottery in a decade

 

 

 

Meltdown: Researchers from the Universities of Dundee and Edinburgh have created an ice cream that does not quickly melt. They included a special protein in their ice cream that binds together air, fat and water. The new ice cream is firmer, has fewer calories, and does not melt as fast as regular ice cream.

 

 

 

Grin And Bear It: E! claims Barack Obama is taping an episode of NBC's ''Running Wild with Bear Grylls''. They will survive in the Alaska wilderness. The show will air later this year.

 

 

 

 

Eight Is Enough: Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson is making headlines again. TMZ claims a massage therapist recently hired a lawyer because Adrian impregnated her. She wants $1.9 million to care for their child for the next 18 years. The therapist is seeking $6,000 a month in support, among other costs. The site says Adrian's wife is pregnant with his 8th child. 

 

 

 

Good Gravy: The 6th Annual World Gravy Wrestling Championships took place yesterday in Rossendale, England. 22 wrestlers grappled in 396 gallons of beef gravy. Matches lasted for two minutes. Wrestlers dressed as Fred Flintstone, a pregnant nun and a chicken competed.

 

 

NEXT GENERATION ON CAKES:  MAN CAKES  (MONTAINS OF MEAT N STUFF)

 

Let Em Eat Cake: Chasidy Tomlin, of Abilene, Texas, recently ordered her husband a chicken-fried steak cake for his birthday.

 

She tells KTXS that The Taylor County Taphouse created the cake. “My husband is not a sweets fan and has never really enjoyed birthday cakes. He always jokes about getting a chicken-fried steak cake.

 

 

 

 

AND IT BEGINGS:  MARS HERE WE COME

TODAY:  year-long NASA isolation experiment with six people simulating life on Mars has started in Hawaii.

As NASA prepares to send a crew to Mars sometime in the 2030s, they've just shut six people inside an isolation dome in Hawaii for one full year

The six inhabitants -- a French astrobiologist, German physicist, and an American pilot, architect, doctor/journalist, and soil scientist -- will have their own small rooms with cots and desks; limited Internet access; trips outside only in spacesuits; and foods like canned tuna and powdered cheese.

 

 

 

Wi-Me: A French court has awarded Marine Richard $750 a month in disability because she is allergic to Wi-Fi. She suffers from electromagnetic sensitivity. Any exposure to cell phones, Wi-Fi or televisions causes Marine extreme discomfort. She lives in a barn to avoid electromagnetic waves.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes Size Does Matter

A 52-year-old Mexican man says he's living proof that bigger isn't always better. Roberto Esquivel Cabrera of Saltillo claims to have the world's largest...well, let's just say he claims 19 inches...and he says it's making his life miserable. He wants the government to consider him disabled because his condition leaves him unable to work, forcing him to live on assistance and scavenge for food. His social life is rotten as well as women are too terrified to be with him. Cabrera apparently provided doubters with a medical imaging photo which is going viral as we speak. He also said he wanted at least to be recognized by Guinness World Records, but an official said the organization has no such category.

 

 

 

 

FILL IN THE BLANK

 

A restaurant in Sydney, Australia, is offering what is believed to be the most expensive ___________ in the world, yours for just $16. (cheese sandwich)

 

A Volkswagen van once owned by ________ sold in Detroit for $30,000. (Dr. Jack Kervorkian)

 

A commercial airliner had to be grounded this past week after a __________ caused a hole in the roof of the aircraft. (champagne cork, shot by a flight attendant)

 

 

 

CONVO STARTERS

 

 

NICE JOB:  (FIND A VID OF MAN CHEATING...HERE'S WHAT YOU DO)

 Be Still, My Cheating Heart: Two oil workers were fired, after a video of them making love in a hotel room went viral. 32-year-old Lee Hanlon and 33-year-old Amy Maxwell are both married, but not to each other. Hanlon recorded their steamy affair on his smartphone. When his wife, Charon, found the video, she decided to send the X-rated clip to his bosses and fellow employees. She created an app group called "shagging," and posted the video while pretending to be her husband.

 

 

 

It used to be only Olympic athletes and professional sports players that had access to detailed, computer driven fitness tracking.

 

 

 

EliteSingles recently asked 1,500 singles to name their biggest turn-ons and turn-offs

 

biggest turn-offs according to men

 

1) Motivational notes everywhere

2) Stuffed animals

3) Too many cosmetics

 

biggest turn-offs according to women

 

1) Empty-looking apartment

2) Video game console

3) Ugly colors

 

top items that impress a date

 

1. Well-equipped kitchen

2. Family pictures

3. Artworks

4. Well-stocked bookshelves

5. Pets

6. Travel paraphernalia

7. Musical instruments

8. Designer furniture

9. Vintage furniture

10. Handmade items

 

 

text-  when this woman went to her date's house for the first time, she saw a bunch of posters of naked girls hanging on his wall. He laughed about it

-  this woman's date had clean clothes in laundry baskets all over the floor. Everything was wrinkled. Nothing was folded. His laundry system was to wear everything out of one basket, and then transfer it to the other basket

 

 

 

Trust Issues

 

A new Quinnipiac University poll reveals that 71% of people are dissatisfied with how things are in America. Other findings:

 

- 41% of people are "very dissatisfied" with how things are in America

 

- 27% of people are angry with how things are in America

 

- 21% of people are satisfied with the government, but not enthusiastic

 

- only 2% of people trust the government

 

 

 

THINGS WOMEN FIND IRRESISTIBLE

 

Listen up, guys! A recent survey says women love it when you:

 

    Own a pair of really nice shoes and actually wear them.

    Brush the hair out of their eyes.

    Are able to hold a baby or push a stroller without squirming.

    Plan an evening out from soup to nuts, from finding a movie to making the dinner reservations.

    Kiss creatively.

    Handle our emotions with grace and compassion.

    Have impassioned, informed opinions about women writers and women's issues.

    Can distinguish between being courteous and being wimpy.

    Know how to inscribe a card with a heartfelt, personal message.

    Demonstrate respect for others by standing up when your mother comes to the table, giving up a seat on the bus for a pregnant woman, asking your dad for his opinion and really listening, etc.

    Show genuine, platonic interest in your female friends' lives.

    Are playful around dogs, cats and kids.

    Make the bed in the morning and fold the laundry -- competently.

    Offer juice, soup and TLC when we're sick.

    Do the come-from-behind cuddle-hug, just to say hello.

    Remember insignificant details, like our favorite color or flower, and make use of that knowledge.

    Are unfailingly polite to all members of the service industries.

    Offer us caresses and compliments for no particular reason.

 

 

BOOKEND-   IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION

29% of men have borrowed this from their girlfriend? Her deodorant

 

 

 

TIME MACHINE

 

87-  "La Bamba"       Los Lobos

97-  "Mo Money Mo Problems"      The Notorious B.I.G. featuring Puff Daddy and Mase

07-  "Beautiful Girls"            Sean Kingston

 

 

 

 Today's Question: "The average person has three of these. What is it?''

 

Extra Clue: can be stressful

 

Extra Clue: money

 

Final Clue: expensive

 

Answer: past due bills

 

 

 

 

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